My Dr Appt went well. All is good. Wweight is maitained, BP was super low and good, Baby was moving and had a good heart rate.
Just have to wait fo rthe Glucose and CBC results to see if I am getting Anemic again. Got reffered to a chiropractor, even though my insurance won't cover it, but I need it badly.
So now I wait and see.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Old friends.
I can't say it enough. I really love my friends back home. I got back in touch with one of my best friends from high school. I miss being home with these people. I can pick up where I left off with them, and it is like no time has passed. I have only made maybe 3 or 4 friends like that since I left CA. I still talk to them or email with them all the time.
So here is to the old friends that havce kept me sane the last few weeks. I love you. It gived me renewed faith that there are people who are out there that are genuine friends. That won't throw things back in your face when they are done with you. I am glad that even when we are separated by thousands of miles or a few blocks, that we are there for each other.
And can I mention, that my SIL Tater, is awesome. We talk everyday. Mostly about how F'd up our family can be or the crackhead strippers she see's at work. But she is always always there for me. She makes me laugh everyday, so I thank her bunches.
So here is to the old friends that havce kept me sane the last few weeks. I love you. It gived me renewed faith that there are people who are out there that are genuine friends. That won't throw things back in your face when they are done with you. I am glad that even when we are separated by thousands of miles or a few blocks, that we are there for each other.
And can I mention, that my SIL Tater, is awesome. We talk everyday. Mostly about how F'd up our family can be or the crackhead strippers she see's at work. But she is always always there for me. She makes me laugh everyday, so I thank her bunches.
Venting about my days...
Last night sucked. Today is starting to suck already. I need to get away and from all this crapola around here.
I hate having to bake for school functions at the last minute. I hate when one of my gifted children trips over himself and rips his pants up the entire back of his leg, and I agree to sew it if they are clean and on the table on Saturday...not 9pm Monday night!! I hate when my husband tells me I do nothing all day, and gives me shit for not working because he works all day long. I hate doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen for the millionth time. I hate refolding laundry because my kids didn't put it away when I asked, so they stepped all over it and I had to redo. I hate when they sit and watch Heroes and are annoyed when I ask to take the brownies out of the oven, we have TIVO, you can pause it.
That was my night, I did the dishes in tears because I am feeling miserable lately.
Then today, I don't see why people can't just leave well enough alone. I admit, I have faults, I gossip. I probably shouldn't do it in a public forum like Myspace. Lesson Learned. So, Thanks for calling me out and making me feel a little more like ass today. Can we all move on now?
OK, I am off to my doctor's appointment, hopefully I will get the referral to a chiropractor I am wanting. My Sciatic Nerve is getting attacked by this baby, and it isn't fun anymore. My whole spine is a mess, and yoga's not helping anymore.
My hubby leaves this weekend for a month. I just hope he is back in time for Father's Day. We have plans and family coming to visit, and a brunch to attend that day. I want to spend it with him for once.
PS- I really can't wait for my family to visit, it will be "similar" to a vacation just to be around them again. Aunt Jeannie and Uncle Bob should be here around Father's day, hence the nice Brunch. Apparently I have a cousin living in Denver, but I haven't seen him since I was 9! He is supposed to join us all for Brunch that day. Not too much later, my Grandma and Mommy are visiting for a weekend to keep me company and make sure I have all the baby stuff. Then this summer we have some friends coming to go camping with their kids, which will rock and Mike's friend is coming for a rock climbing trip. It should make for a nice summer!
OK, I am done. Have a nice day.
I hate having to bake for school functions at the last minute. I hate when one of my gifted children trips over himself and rips his pants up the entire back of his leg, and I agree to sew it if they are clean and on the table on Saturday...not 9pm Monday night!! I hate when my husband tells me I do nothing all day, and gives me shit for not working because he works all day long. I hate doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen for the millionth time. I hate refolding laundry because my kids didn't put it away when I asked, so they stepped all over it and I had to redo. I hate when they sit and watch Heroes and are annoyed when I ask to take the brownies out of the oven, we have TIVO, you can pause it.
That was my night, I did the dishes in tears because I am feeling miserable lately.
Then today, I don't see why people can't just leave well enough alone. I admit, I have faults, I gossip. I probably shouldn't do it in a public forum like Myspace. Lesson Learned. So, Thanks for calling me out and making me feel a little more like ass today. Can we all move on now?
OK, I am off to my doctor's appointment, hopefully I will get the referral to a chiropractor I am wanting. My Sciatic Nerve is getting attacked by this baby, and it isn't fun anymore. My whole spine is a mess, and yoga's not helping anymore.
My hubby leaves this weekend for a month. I just hope he is back in time for Father's Day. We have plans and family coming to visit, and a brunch to attend that day. I want to spend it with him for once.
PS- I really can't wait for my family to visit, it will be "similar" to a vacation just to be around them again. Aunt Jeannie and Uncle Bob should be here around Father's day, hence the nice Brunch. Apparently I have a cousin living in Denver, but I haven't seen him since I was 9! He is supposed to join us all for Brunch that day. Not too much later, my Grandma and Mommy are visiting for a weekend to keep me company and make sure I have all the baby stuff. Then this summer we have some friends coming to go camping with their kids, which will rock and Mike's friend is coming for a rock climbing trip. It should make for a nice summer!
OK, I am done. Have a nice day.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Long Time, No Blog...
It has been craziness around here. We are broke and that is usually when family emergencies occur, am I right?? Well, Mike is in CA for the weekend, he gets home Sunday and leaves Monday to go back to CA for NTC at Ft Irwin for 30 days. So I am already living as if he is gone. I am looking at the calender and this is a LONG pay period...we are broke as of Monday when my mortgage payment goes through, so That goodness school is out this week, so next week I won't really need to drive anywhere. Sports are over as of today (ALLELUIA!!!) I love that my kids play sports! One of them is so into it, it is ridiculous. The Other was into it until his first practice, since then it is like pulling teeth to get him to go. But We are stubborn parents and make our kids finish what they start. We invested about $300 in that kid and the equipment for Football, so he had to attend every practice and every game. So today is the last games for both boys and I am so happy that I won't have to be Supermom anymore. I would drive Downtown to Memorial Park for Football, and then up to Cotton Wood park on the North side of town or back down to El Pomar....That has just been recently too. Until about 2 weeks ago, Nate had Wrestling as well, luckily those were during the week, except for that final tournament. So I can rest, Maybe I will start getting my energy back now. I have been drained from this pregnancy and being supermom to my kids. I have been making them take on a few more chores around the house like they have to put their laundry away, pick weeds....fun stuff like that.
My Midwife really said I need to take it down another notch, she told me to stop working as a CNA, cause it was gonna put me on bed rest ( I kinda was working like I wasn't prego, I can't let my patients go without, I was lifting old men into their wheel chairs and stuff like that) So I quit working, I am now, not resting enough, thus the tiredness....She is afraid that I am becoming Anemic again too. I was with Jake and it wore me out completely. So my appointment is on Tuesday, hopefully all my blood work will come back OK again. I get to endure the lovely Glucose Test, which she says I can eat before...I remember starving to death the morning of my last 2 tests and the first time I caved in and ate cereal and I had to go back for the second test!! So I may eat some breakfast but nothing after, I am going at noon.
OK, Now that I have rambled.....Today is Gma's funeral. I am sad I can't be there, but I think I am better off, I would be an emotional wreck. Mike has gotten to spend time with all his friends, which I know he needed desperately. We assume he will be going to Iraq in the next year, hopefully after Xmas. All our friends and family will be there, and they are having a wake afterwards to be a BBQ, since that was what Gma loved, all the family BB Q's!! They are always a blast! At one, I remember Gma getting a Lap Dance from an almost naked Scotty. But that was back when we called him Scotty 2 hotty, and he was the karate master....it would be scary to get one from him now, he kinda looks like the old stoner guy on That 70's Show. SO, I know Gma will be there in spirit, sitting in the yard talking trash with everyone. We all loved her so much. And that is apparent in all the people that are coming together today to celebrate her. I mean, All our friends from home called her Gma too. Some even cried as if it was there Gma!
So RIP Gma Gerry, we love you and miss you.
The End...
My Midwife really said I need to take it down another notch, she told me to stop working as a CNA, cause it was gonna put me on bed rest ( I kinda was working like I wasn't prego, I can't let my patients go without, I was lifting old men into their wheel chairs and stuff like that) So I quit working, I am now, not resting enough, thus the tiredness....She is afraid that I am becoming Anemic again too. I was with Jake and it wore me out completely. So my appointment is on Tuesday, hopefully all my blood work will come back OK again. I get to endure the lovely Glucose Test, which she says I can eat before...I remember starving to death the morning of my last 2 tests and the first time I caved in and ate cereal and I had to go back for the second test!! So I may eat some breakfast but nothing after, I am going at noon.
OK, Now that I have rambled.....Today is Gma's funeral. I am sad I can't be there, but I think I am better off, I would be an emotional wreck. Mike has gotten to spend time with all his friends, which I know he needed desperately. We assume he will be going to Iraq in the next year, hopefully after Xmas. All our friends and family will be there, and they are having a wake afterwards to be a BBQ, since that was what Gma loved, all the family BB Q's!! They are always a blast! At one, I remember Gma getting a Lap Dance from an almost naked Scotty. But that was back when we called him Scotty 2 hotty, and he was the karate master....it would be scary to get one from him now, he kinda looks like the old stoner guy on That 70's Show. SO, I know Gma will be there in spirit, sitting in the yard talking trash with everyone. We all loved her so much. And that is apparent in all the people that are coming together today to celebrate her. I mean, All our friends from home called her Gma too. Some even cried as if it was there Gma!
So RIP Gma Gerry, we love you and miss you.
The End...
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Dropping like flies...
It seems that way to me. My friends and family are vanishing and I am stuck in my house in CO with no way to do anything about it. Today is my friend Aaron's funeral. I wish I could go, he was a really funny guy, everyone should have met him at least once. I talked to our friend Kelly last night, who was his best friend, he sounded great on the phone. He said it just didn't feel real yet, it happened so fast and it's just not real until you go to the funeral for something so tragic. So my heart and mind are with them today. Kelly said he would give everyone hugs for me. Him and his wife are supposed to come visit this summer with their kids. They Mike & I 's best friends from home. Kelly is Mike's BF and my ex.....and Brooke is one of my go friends from homt too, our kids are the same age and we all get along so great, I can't wait to see them all!!
OK that was a random rant, but I am trying to see the best of things this week, which is hard.
This morning, I got a phone call from My SIL Tatum telling me that Mike's Gma "Bubby" is in the hospital. She had a heart attack last night, so they brought her in....supposedly she wasn't feeling well for a few days before that, but they made her go to work so they could pay their bills....don't get me started on Mike's family. Anyways, she is now in the ICU, on a ventilator and they don't give her a good prognosis. She is 80 years old, I knew this day would come someday...but besides my SIL Tatum, Bubby was the only other one I really liked on that side. She lived with us on and off over the years and was always working her ass off. She lived with us out here in CO for awhile, she drove me nuts sometimes, but I loved her. She was always a good conversation, had amazing stories to tell, would tell me about my husband when he was a little guy and how much our kids were like him.
I really hope she makes it, but maybe won't be able to work anymore or his family will continue to take advantage of her.
Pray for her today, she is a strong old woman, this is her 4th heartattack so we shall see if she pulls through.
Seriously, is this week over yet?!?!?!?
OK that was a random rant, but I am trying to see the best of things this week, which is hard.
This morning, I got a phone call from My SIL Tatum telling me that Mike's Gma "Bubby" is in the hospital. She had a heart attack last night, so they brought her in....supposedly she wasn't feeling well for a few days before that, but they made her go to work so they could pay their bills....don't get me started on Mike's family. Anyways, she is now in the ICU, on a ventilator and they don't give her a good prognosis. She is 80 years old, I knew this day would come someday...but besides my SIL Tatum, Bubby was the only other one I really liked on that side. She lived with us on and off over the years and was always working her ass off. She lived with us out here in CO for awhile, she drove me nuts sometimes, but I loved her. She was always a good conversation, had amazing stories to tell, would tell me about my husband when he was a little guy and how much our kids were like him.
I really hope she makes it, but maybe won't be able to work anymore or his family will continue to take advantage of her.
Pray for her today, she is a strong old woman, this is her 4th heartattack so we shall see if she pulls through.
Seriously, is this week over yet?!?!?!?
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Friends passing.
Today I got a wake up email from an old friend. It was telling me the tragic news of another of our old friends passing away last night. He wasn't my best friend by no means, but we hung out with the same group for a few years. He dated my best friend, and he was always around to make you laugh, usually at his own expense. His mom was a Tarot card reader, she would read your palms too, we always had a good time. He was the childhood best friend of one of my ex's, Mike's Best Friend (the one that set me up with Mike, go figure) .
Anyways, I hate to hear news like this, an old friend, you expect to run into again someday when your in your hometown at a party or something, just gone.
He had been visiting his family in Vegas and fell asleep driving home. Just a tragic accident. If you have ever driven that stretch of desert highway from vegas to LA, you know exactly how crazy a drive it can be....the speed limit is apparently 100mph!!!!
I called to tell my sister in law about him, she was friends with him too. And she wentto check the paper and see if it said anything yet, she said it showed the accident from the day before that killed an entire 6 person family, the same strech of highway!!! So pray for these families, especially the Behar family, this will hit them hard since they were a very very close family!!
I have no idea why it all hit me so hard today, I guess it just hit me, that my friends are dying. I just lost another friend at Christmas time, my friend Josh died of a heroin overdose. That was the main reason we stopped hanging out with him, he and one of my best friends started getting into heavy duty drugs, so I withdrew myself and haven't really talked to either of them since. I guess tehy went their separate ways, but she was in jail for a year, thanks to dealing drugs and DUI's and his family moved him to South Carolina to start a new life. He was supposedly starting anew. He had a fiancee, a newborn baby girl, only 1 month old. His fiancee found him face down on the bed, with the needle still in his arm.....6 months of sobriety down the drain to sneak out in the middle of the night for a fix.
I love my old friends I really do, they are part of my life forever and always. But I don't feeli lik eit is fair that majority of us have become wonderful people, did the family/ marraige thing, then a few seem to have gotten left behind.
Here is to my Old School friends of the past. I love you all and miss you guys tons, even if I don't get to tell you everyday. We will always be connected somehow!!!
Friday, May 4, 2007
Choices.
I have had a tough few days deciding weather or not I need to seize this opportunity to finish my degree. If you asked me yesterday, I would have said, I am gonna do it, it won't be that bad. But after a long talk with my mom and a morning phone call with my Grandma, I think I am ok with the decision to defer for a year. I just can't see starting school on my due date...pumping through class, and worrying about where my kids are and all that. The timing is just off, as is the story of my life. I figure next year, I will have a better idea where we will be career wise, the baby will be a year, and I will just know more where the future is headed. I am fine with the fact that I will raise my children first, then focus on my career. I would rathger be here for them now when they need me the most than to not be around. I plan to go back when the youngest, weather it be Riley or another one after that, when they are in elementry school, this way they will still know the importance of getting an education, and then I will be able to use Mike's GI Bill instead of accumulating loans (he is getting it in his reenlistment contract). It will work out for the best, and I still have my CNA so should I feel the need to get into working, I still have that.
I was very perplexed about all of this, but I feel at peace with my decision. I think it was my Grandma that convinced me it was ok. She talks with my Great Aunt alot. She was also an Army Wife for 35 years, they had 7 kids, lived in Germany for 10 years, and SHE said she doesn't know how I do it....I look at her and think WTF??? I feel I am lucky, my kids are good so I don't mind having alot of them around, I love to travel, I know I am strong enough and have enough independance to stand on my own. I have had a baby without my husband standing by my side, it sucks, but I know what this job entails. It is harder than any college degree, thats for sure.
My grandma told me that I am the only opinion that matters. I have raised wonderful kids, majority of the time I am on my own. She envies my strength and tells me that my boys will appriciate that in itself. My husband is persuing his degree right now, so My boys will indeed realize the importance of education, they already know that mommy attended college part of the time.
Sop oin the end I am happy with my decision, I am respected for it and feel that this is what is right at this time. I am still gonna take a few classes, to get them out of the way, but I just need to be with my kids and focus on the situation at hand. We have a deployment around the corner and possibly a BIG move to Germany after that, so I want to be with my family now.
Thanks for all the support from my family and friends, I don't feel like a complete failure now. I love you all and miss you bunches.
I was very perplexed about all of this, but I feel at peace with my decision. I think it was my Grandma that convinced me it was ok. She talks with my Great Aunt alot. She was also an Army Wife for 35 years, they had 7 kids, lived in Germany for 10 years, and SHE said she doesn't know how I do it....I look at her and think WTF??? I feel I am lucky, my kids are good so I don't mind having alot of them around, I love to travel, I know I am strong enough and have enough independance to stand on my own. I have had a baby without my husband standing by my side, it sucks, but I know what this job entails. It is harder than any college degree, thats for sure.
My grandma told me that I am the only opinion that matters. I have raised wonderful kids, majority of the time I am on my own. She envies my strength and tells me that my boys will appriciate that in itself. My husband is persuing his degree right now, so My boys will indeed realize the importance of education, they already know that mommy attended college part of the time.
Sop oin the end I am happy with my decision, I am respected for it and feel that this is what is right at this time. I am still gonna take a few classes, to get them out of the way, but I just need to be with my kids and focus on the situation at hand. We have a deployment around the corner and possibly a BIG move to Germany after that, so I want to be with my family now.
Thanks for all the support from my family and friends, I don't feel like a complete failure now. I love you all and miss you bunches.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Letter of Acceptance....
OK, I will try not to break into tears again as I type this.
As you all know, I have been going to Nursing school for an eternity, mostly sitting on wait lists, just to pull myself off due to babies and moving and all that. I am ready to just suck it up and finish.
Well, When Mike came home from Iraq, before we even started trying to get prego, we had the talk....to finsh now or later in life. I want to have my babies close in age and stay home with them while I can. Our decision was to go ahead with the baby making, and I was fine with putting off school for awhile. I even chose to take this at home Real Estate course, which is still a work in progress.
I have had a hard time with this home school, it is hard to get really excited about something your not passionate about. I even went back to work for awhile to get Nursing out of my system, maybe work in different areas, try new things. But I still love it, even when it sucked. Go Figure. Well, today is a new high for me...and a low at the same time.
Today I got my letter of acceptance to the Nursing Program. I have met all the general Ed requirements, and a separate letter wants me to come meet with the Dean as to what my schedule should be since I have already taken about half of the first semester classes. Well, as I read the letter, I started to bawl. Go Figure once again!!
This letter is what I have been waiting YEARS to get, I am so close, yet so far....remember my choice to make babies right now and stay home with my kids. I am so proud to get it, to know that I really am ready to finish school, but my life is moving on already. I mean, My Mandatory orientation is 4 days before my due date. And anyone who knows Nursing school, I will never be home, it is like a full time job, with now pay and shitty hours. I will have to change Jake's preschool, Find after school care for Jake and full time day care for Riley.....Everything I DON"T want for my kids.
I sobbed for about 2 hours as I tried to explain to my husband that I am still OK with our decision, just give me some time to deal. He wants me to go back and finish, he thinks I will hold a grudge against him for making me stay home and not finish school. SO NOT TRUE!! It is my choice in the end, he will support whatever I decide. I am just mad I am even in this situation. I wish I got rejected, then it wouldn't hurt so bad. I plan on finishing someday soon. Probably when Riley is in Kindergarten or something.
My life is wonderful, I have so many blessings. I really needed the extra confidence todays letter gave me. I haveto sit down and write a letter stating my decision. It will be hard, but I haveto do it. I think today just made my plans that much more real to me. I love my kids and when they all came up to my room to consol me, I knew I made the right choice. I love them so much, I love that I can spend time with them!! I would have to leave them to someone else's care if I went back and would not see them too much, and that is NOT why I had kids.
Sorry if this blog was kinda all over, But I am happy to get the good news, sad that the time isn't right. I am a mix of emotions, it doesn't help that I am very pregnant too.
As you all know, I have been going to Nursing school for an eternity, mostly sitting on wait lists, just to pull myself off due to babies and moving and all that. I am ready to just suck it up and finish.
Well, When Mike came home from Iraq, before we even started trying to get prego, we had the talk....to finsh now or later in life. I want to have my babies close in age and stay home with them while I can. Our decision was to go ahead with the baby making, and I was fine with putting off school for awhile. I even chose to take this at home Real Estate course, which is still a work in progress.
I have had a hard time with this home school, it is hard to get really excited about something your not passionate about. I even went back to work for awhile to get Nursing out of my system, maybe work in different areas, try new things. But I still love it, even when it sucked. Go Figure. Well, today is a new high for me...and a low at the same time.
Today I got my letter of acceptance to the Nursing Program. I have met all the general Ed requirements, and a separate letter wants me to come meet with the Dean as to what my schedule should be since I have already taken about half of the first semester classes. Well, as I read the letter, I started to bawl. Go Figure once again!!
This letter is what I have been waiting YEARS to get, I am so close, yet so far....remember my choice to make babies right now and stay home with my kids. I am so proud to get it, to know that I really am ready to finish school, but my life is moving on already. I mean, My Mandatory orientation is 4 days before my due date. And anyone who knows Nursing school, I will never be home, it is like a full time job, with now pay and shitty hours. I will have to change Jake's preschool, Find after school care for Jake and full time day care for Riley.....Everything I DON"T want for my kids.
I sobbed for about 2 hours as I tried to explain to my husband that I am still OK with our decision, just give me some time to deal. He wants me to go back and finish, he thinks I will hold a grudge against him for making me stay home and not finish school. SO NOT TRUE!! It is my choice in the end, he will support whatever I decide. I am just mad I am even in this situation. I wish I got rejected, then it wouldn't hurt so bad. I plan on finishing someday soon. Probably when Riley is in Kindergarten or something.
My life is wonderful, I have so many blessings. I really needed the extra confidence todays letter gave me. I haveto sit down and write a letter stating my decision. It will be hard, but I haveto do it. I think today just made my plans that much more real to me. I love my kids and when they all came up to my room to consol me, I knew I made the right choice. I love them so much, I love that I can spend time with them!! I would have to leave them to someone else's care if I went back and would not see them too much, and that is NOT why I had kids.
Sorry if this blog was kinda all over, But I am happy to get the good news, sad that the time isn't right. I am a mix of emotions, it doesn't help that I am very pregnant too.
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